Evangelical kids on State Street

There was some group conducting "faith surveys" on State Street yesterday. If that thinly veiled proselytizing wasn't enough, they actually used children who appeared to be ages 10-12 to conduct the "surveys." It was awful to hear their meek, quivering voices asking for participation and their furtive glances to see if their 14 year-old handlers were noting their efforts. I heard several of them complaining that they wanted to stop. I just wanted to buy all of them Popsicles and set them free. They were wearing "Future Leaders" shirts or something like that. It reminded me of the post below from JesusIsJustAlrightWithMe:

I’m EXTREMELY excited about this election. I’ve long since realized that the odds of any candidate from any party striking me as “good” are extremely slim. So all I look for in an election is comedy. Let’s face it, every election is hilarious. You have two A-hole millionaires pretending they give a shit about things they clearly don’t give a shit about, everyone lies, everyone criticizes their opponents for doing the same crap they did two weeks ago, and all of America gets up in arms about shit they don’t understand. In short, elections are hilarious. And this one will be more hilarious than most. Here are 10 reasons why:

1) There are three guys running that DON’T BELIEVE IN EVOLUTION! You can’t make this shit up! Grown men that wear suits to work and everything!

2) There is a 72 year old gynecologist from Texas that is approximately a libertarian that is running for the Republican ticket and he’s trying a crazy strategy: telling the truth. If you watched the 2nd debate and saw Rudi’s reaction to it, and then Sean Hannity’s response to it, and WOW. Classic shit. And then to top it off, this feisty tell-it-like-it-is OBGN won Hannity’s debate poll!!! And Hannity was salty as hell about it. I hope to see more of Ron Paul just for the response he gets from the Faux News Network.

3) There is a mor[m]on running. A grown man that believes the native Americans killed the lost tribe of Israel because a known con man red it on some gold tablets he found in the wood using a magic rock! But what’s super awesome about this is that as this crap progresses, all the other republicans, who believe that a magic dead guy rose from a grave and walked on water and who perform quasi-cannibalistic rituals every Sunday, are going to put his religion under a microscope. Which will provide ample opportunity for us to put everyone’s religion under a microscope. And what’s funnier than religious belief?

4) It is at least a possibility that Bloomberg is going to throw his hat in the ring. If election history has taught us anything, it’s that a third party candidate increases the humor ten-fold. Fifteen-fold if that candidate has billions of dollars.

5) There’s a Clinton running, which means that another Clinton will be running around. And that Clinton stuck a cigar in a chubby intern’s snatch. You can’t make this shit up!

6) Al Gore went out and got himself one of those “personalities” and is a viable candidate right now. And Al Gore once said he invented the internet, has won an Oscar, and lost an election to a retard.

7) A black guy may be running against one of several racists. Only funny things can come from that.

8) There is a strong possibility that the race will be a Senator from New York vs. the Mayor of New York vs. the former Mayor of New York. Shit, it’s even possible that the Governor of New York could run. Nothing’s funnier than confused New Yorker, right?

9) Dennis Kucinich (who, by the way has a pretty hot British hippie wife) will be there advocating the policies that sounded reasonable to me when I was like ten.

10) All these people, deep down, are exactly the same. And in like 6 months, they will all hate each other with the fire of a thousand suns and they will bring up every bit of dirt that exists about each other (and there is some good dirt down there. Remember all of the retarded ass stuff Tommy Thompson said when he was Governor? Imagine what we’ll here about all these other assholes!).